In a few months, my wife and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary. A few weeks ago we surpassed 23 years together. It’s not uncommon for someone to ask, “How has she put up with you for this long?”.
My stock answer goes something like this: “Before I got married I decided that every morning I’d wake up, roll over, look at my wife and say, I’m sorry. This way, I’m either apologizing for something I didn’t know I did, or I’m getting the first one out of the way!”.
23 years together. Given the percentage of people our age that are on their first or second divorce, this is something we’re proud of. It’s also something we’ve fought for. The real answer to the question is complicated, just like marriage.
RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T FAIRY TALES
If you think a relationship shouldn’t require hard work, I’d ask how many long-term relationships you’ve had. If you aren’t working hard at it, you’re doing it wrong. There’s no freakin’ way I can tell you how to have a successful relationship in one post, so let me give you my favorite tip. This works on a number of different levels, but why is less relevant and more than I have time to get into here.
Few things will strengthen a marriage than having a daily goal to MAKE HER DAY BETTER.
Find one thing every day that you can do with that goal in mind and your relationship will improve dramatically.
HOW ABOUT AN EXAMPLE?
Almost without fail, my wife needs to get gas (petrol for all of my readers across the pond) in her car before the week starts. On Sunday, I usually do the shopping for the week (another example) and I take her car if I know it’s low on gas so I can fill it up. Monday morning when she’s running late, scrambles to get out of the house, THEN finds out she doesn’t have to stop on the way to work and I get a thank you text.